Chapter Notes: Heist

So, it's been a while since I've done one of these because it's hard to keep up with them while I'm doing daily uploads.  On top of that, posting has been weird in general the last couple of weeks, because I'm still in an adjustment period for new medication, and it decided that this month needs to be the "hit me in the face with fatigue and brain fog side effects" part.  Posting is going to continue to be a bit odd for the next couple of days, but hopefully I can get a bunch of stuff done between now and then because my backlog runs out on Friday. D:

But I wanted to post something about this chapter in particular because there's a lot that gets laid down. It's a very busy chapter, and I thought about splitting it up and slowing it down, but I kind of like that it's frantic and all over the place. It presents this sort of manic energy that quickly comes to define who Loki is as a chaos god.

To start, this is the last chapter where he's a kid, really. This is the moment where he grows up. He dealt with Freyr a few chapters back, which to Loki was just the night before. And in this single day cycle, he's gone from someone who is openly bullied to a criminal mastermind.  And really, that just shows how underestimated he is, and how much he allows himself to be underestimated.  He's been running amok for a while now, associating with smugglers and thieves, and even engaging in said practises, so stealing shit like this really is no leap at all.

I always liked the story with Eldred in the comics, but never felt like there was room for it in the original version of this story. And then when War of the Realms revisited Eldred with Loki's busted-ass memories of what happened, giving an entirely different recount of events, I really wanted to combine the two versions in this rewrite. In this reality, both versions are true. Eldred is someone who Loki meets with clandestinely, getting scraps of knowledge in return for scraps of whatever Loki can spare. But Loki also steals everything the man owns and decides that for some fucked up reason, he deserves it.  But that's another thing I never wanted to lose sight of, and which does come back in bigger ways later.  Of course Loki is arrogant and entitled.  He's a prince, and even if he removed himself from the line, ultimately it changes nothing.  He's allowed to run amok with few consequences, except for when his bullshit makes Odin look bad.  As far as Loki is concerned, something was taken from him, and he's going to get it back.

And there was always some potential for darkness in Loki in the original version of this story, and it came through very occasionally. The way he treated Fandral was one such instance, and him nearly murdering Týr was another. I wanted to kind of add a few more moments like this, letting the reader know that at any point, the right (or wrong) set of circumstances would be all it takes to throw Loki over the edge into villainy. That all it would take is for something to piss him off enough that yeah sure, his morals could become flexible enough to include genocide. After all, that is his place on the Sacred Timeline.

Another thing I wanted to fix with this rewrite is his relationship with Thor. And fix is the wrong word, ultimately. It hasn't changed at all; we're just seeing more of it. We're seeing why Loki tends to get so hurt when Thor does something to upset him. Even Thor forgets that Loki is older. To Thor, Loki will always be the little brother who needs looking after. But he's also Loki's best friend. I wanted to show more of that closeness, both in their physical relationship, and in their emotional relationship. The chapter starts off with a weird argument between them, because they're both in trouble for different reasons, and Thor isn't immediately willing to get into more trouble to help Loki do what he needs to do. But in the end, he shows up anyway. And he not only helps, but he knows Loki and his stupid trash-collecting hobby well enough to be able to orchestrate things when Loki cannot. Loki exhausts himself with magic, and Thor just instantly takes over so Loki can cease to exist for a little while. And Loki trusts him to know how to do that. Loki doesn't need to explain his full plan, because he knows Thor already understands what they're doing, and Hogun's not going to slow things down by doing something as tedious as asking questions. Obviously they're not going to haul everything out by hand when Loki can just make shit disappear and go where he wants.

A lot of Loki's magic has culminated in this chapter as well. He's still very bad at sight magic, but he's improved to the point that he was at least able to confirm his suspicions. He's able to move an entire shop's worth of supplies, and then some, through his magic alone, and he's just a scrawny fifteen year old boy. And like all of the trash he's collected, he's still not stealing anything that will be useful to a single other person on Asgard, even if what he's stealing is dangerous beyond measure. But that's only because even at fifteen years old, he's one of the only people alive who knows how to use it. Odin wants him to take a specific role within the court, and has given him a lot of freedom to prepare for it, because a sorcerer is nothing if all he knows is the same magic any pleb can perform.  I've never liked the idea that Frigga taught him his magic, as cute as it is, because it does diminish his position as someone who's supposed to be supremely scary in what he can do.  She may have got him started, but I think most people will agree that MCU!Loki has been unreasonably nerfed, even now.  And we saw that in the series, with Old Loki conjuring up all of Asgard to distract Alioth.  This is someone who, in the comics, was able to conjure an illusion so convincing, he fooled Dr Strange and used it to steal the Sorcerer Supreme mantle.  MCU Loki could never, and I'm not afraid to say it.

The bit at the end with Loki not even getting to smoke magic weed with his friends is also setting up more for later. He's a raging drunk in the comics and the myths, and I love that they've kind of started to lean into this in the MCU as well. I've always extended this to him being the sort who will use any substance that can detach him from reality, whether it's booze, drugs, or dopamine. He's a complete ho in almost all iterations of canon (catch up, MCU), and he seems like he has a gambling problem in the comics as well. Him being a frost giant means that he has to go out of his way to find what works on a chemical level, and there isn't much. I have this mental image that I genuinely want to explore down the line where he just goes a bit nuts on Midgard. Antifreeze? Sure, let's drink it. Poison mushrooms? Gonna eat all of that. He's learned long ago that opium and coke don't do shit for him, but he wants to get wasted and will find any way possible to do it. And that starts with this subtle resentment that he can't even get wasted with his friends on Asgard. He can't get drunk unless he smuggles in illegal wine from Jötunheimr, and magic weed doesn't seem to get him high. Time to start going through everything else he got from Eldred's stash and see what works, just so he can party with his friends.

And then there's Fandral. These last few chapters with him have been Loki fundamentally misunderstanding how Thor is right, although I'm not even sure Thor understands how he's right. Because Fandral is 100% taking advantage, as we see here. Just not for money or status. In fact, money and status have turned into a pleasant bonus to the real reason Fandral has wormed his way in.  I love Fandral as a character.  He's funny and kind of stupid, and there is no reality in which he is not sleazy and gross.  He's a total pickup artist, at best.

The scene with Fandral is absolutely meant to be uncomfortable. Loki is so starved for affection and so naïve that he has no idea that none of this is okay. Fandral is taking advantage of that, grooming Loki to accept that discomfort and uncertainty are normal parts of sex. He's learned how to push and get away with it, and absolutely knows that Loki will not reject him. Loki wants a friend too badly to risk losing this friendship, so he chooses to believe Fandral knows what he's doing and goes along with it.

I have this headcanon for Fandral that he's like, the epitome of toxic homosexuality. That kind of self-loathing, overly-compensating sort who won't really admit that he is what he is. He won't let Loki kiss him because "he's not a girl," which really translates to "no homo." Loki is naïve and inexperienced, which means he doesn't know the difference. If Fandral tells him this is how things are done, he'll believe it. And despite what Loki might think, at no point during this "relationship" are they exclusive. Fandral's out there getting blow jobs and handies from every stable boy and servant who falls for the same thing.  He probably even knows one or two other young guys who are in the same boat who he hooks up with every now and then.  Even Loki recognises that Fandral already knows what he likes, and what that must mean, but he never really puts two and two together.

But Fandral's attitudes toward sex weren't formed in a vacuum either. Sure, he's a closeted nightmare, but there's more to it. And I've waffled on how direct to be about it, not out of any caution in approaching the subject, but because it's kind of funnier if Loki never figures it out. The short answer is Fandral's mother is absolutely a sex worker. Her husband was executed for cowardice, and she works in the palace but clearly doesn't make enough money to feed and clothe her only child. He's fifteen and already takes odd jobs and hunts to put food on the table, but otherwise seems completely invisible.  He's uneducated and illiterate, because those are luxuries.  He never seems to want to go home, and his prospects are literally the army or mucking pig shit. He's even outright said there's nothing he could do that would disgrace them further, because they are already at the bottom of the ladder. He wants to join the Einherjar because these are the only men he's ever known. He's watched them come and go his entire life, and he even uses the fact that he knows many of the guards well enough to distract one from what's going on. He's probably not taking the most honest of odd jobs either, when it comes down to it, which would explain why it's not unusual for him to be slinking around places he shouldn't be late at night.

There's a reason Frigga doesn't like him. That is not the sort of boy who should be rubbing shoulders with princes, and she has definitely heard rumours. Pretty much the only saving grace he has is that his mother was married to his father. He's not a bastard, so at least he's got that much going for him.

But all of this does come together in this manic way to harden something in Loki. In just over a single day, he's learned how to cheat people at drinking games, blackmailed Freyr, nearly been killed in a raid, nearly fallen out with Thor, realised exactly how Fandral is taking advantage of him and decided he doesn't care, orchestrated and pulled off a heist, and started on a path toward a drug problem. It's been a very packed three chapters, but I feel like stretching it out any longer would diminish the fact that this all happens over such a short period of time.

And that's why I wanted to lay it all out in plain language, because even with the rewrite, and taking time to actually spell some of this out a bit better, I know a lot will get lost between the lines.