I have no idea what I’m doing

name: squid

age: 21

location: midwestern united states

i post about: i'm into a lot of things but what i end up posting about are monthly periodical-types of the music i discover and listen to (free for anybody to access) and the general musings and feelings of an anxious college guy (behind an access lock). i might someday make a dedicated post about history or politics or literature but i rarely feel like i have any meaningful contribution to what could be said. that's a very broad characterization but check my about me on my profile for a slightly more detailed synopsis

my hobbies are: my whole life revolves around music, more or less :] i listen to music extensively (squid771 on last.fm and rateyourmusic), collect vinyl records, and go to college studying sound engineering (i'm a senior!). i have an off-again, on-again recording project that i'll someday release something under. i play guitar, i'm an untrained singer, and i play various keyboard instruments. i always try to watch movies but usually that means i'll just gather a bunch, watch 2 in one night, and then go 6 months without watching another. i'm trying to read more (5 books read this year; infinitely times more than the past couple of years), i'm big into history (currently researching the george mcgovern 1972 campaign, and concurrently the history of how the word socialism/communism got such a negative connotation in the U.S.), and i like to walk around at night, or in the rain, or both. i try to appreciate the little things. i want to write, and learn esperanto, but i've never found enough consistent motivation to try either

my fandoms are: i haven't really considered myself to be really big enough on anything to be part of a fandom, but some of my favorite bands/artists are fishmans, stereolab, broadcast, nick drake, elliott smith, the radio dept., the field mice (all of sarah records really), brian eno, yo la tengo, ichiko aoba, and many many others! i could talk about music for days and days. as far as like forms of media go i'm big into the trails series (games 1-5, trails and crossbell; cold steel ruined the franchise), deltarune (haven't played undertale but i generally know what happens by osmosis), off, team fortress 2, and disco elysium; and then cowboy bebop, samurai champloo, NGE, general 2000s adult swim-core type stuff for anime

i'm looking to meet people who: i put a post up here about 6 months ago when i first started this account and i did get a lot of responses but nearly all of the people that replied to me aren't active anymore. i'm looking for people to really connect with and are in this site for the long haul (or at least for a while). i'm not too picky about sharing interests but having mutual appreciation for something always helps. the main thing though is that i'm just trying to make more friends :]

my posting schedule tends to be: whenever i feel like there's enough going enough in my life to post about something. this is usually like 2 to 5 times a month. i do tend to get wordy in my posts for what that's worth

when I add people, my dealbreakers are: i'm a very vague socialist so i'm not particularly chill with MAGA types or people who are just unnecessarily rude but i think there's like only 2 people on this site with those beliefs anyways

before adding me, you should know: i don't really comment much but i read everything that's posted. i get in my own head about responding to/posting comments and not feeling like i have enough to say. but i'm always looking to talk to more people and come out of my shell
i'm very depressed and mildly autistic and can be in my head a lot of the time, so the posts behind my access lock can get mopey and despondent. i'm doing the best i can to grapple with my emotions and the world around me so a little bit of empathy goes a long way. we're all going through something