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I don't know why this happens and it drives me up the wall. I don't work out for goals, but it makes it easier to keep track of what I'm doing when I can see the numbers tick up and the rings close, and also it drives me nuts to see the numbers wind up so vastly different between the two. Last time I stepped on the scale, it read 189, so I've definitely cracked through this plateau of sadness and frustration, which means I may actually hit my goal by the end of winter for peak irony. I don't really have a number goal necessarily, because my goal is actually to be able to fit into this old coat I bought ages ago that never really fit me properly even when I bought it. It was one of those things where it was the last one on the rack, and the only size they had was a small, and I just sort of dealt with it. But it's an American men's small, which meant it was a bit tight to button but never totally unreasonable, and often I just got away without buttoning it. So if I can actually get down to be able to wearing it properly, I'll be happy.
I can actually get into it without feeling totally like Chris Farley, which is nice. No chance in hell it's buttoning, and I can kind of trick myself into believing that it's tight in the shoulders cuz I'm hench as fuck, but let's be real. I haven't touched my weights in over a year. Every time I do it just messes up my shoulder all over again and I can't keep risking that shit and I can't afford a personal trainer to make sure I don't fuck myself up with my terrible form.
The taste in my mouth is clearing up, so the nasty goop I had to start using is definitely helping. Between that and the salt rinses, I've decided that I probably don't need to go to my GP, but I am going to keep an eye on things and be mindful of that just in case. I've got so much other stuff going on, and I can't keep piling more on top of it. And if this is a stress-related thing, yeah no wonder it happened. I exist in a constant state of stress these days. This week's stress has been getting everything ready for a house guest, and trying not to get worked up about a round of testing to figure out what horrible thing has been going on with my stomach for the last decade or so, but which I've only recently been in a position to deal with.
But even though my watch was being a bastard today, and I woke up still fairly fucked up from the brownie I ate last night, and I have no idea whether or not I actually took my pills this morning, there is one little ray of sunshine in all of it. While I was doing my workout (at home, on my bike thing because going for a five-mile walk round the lake while half-toasted seemed like a bad idea), I refreshed a tab I had open on my phone and saw that they've finally announced the air date for the next series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. That starts on the 23rd, so in two week's time I'll have a new show to watch. We'll probably be getting an announcement for Taskmaster within the next 3-4 weeks as well, I imagine, if not sooner. I've been checking that every day for weeks, so I'd almost given up hope of seeing an update, and actually got surprised when the "due to return" line on the page did change.
Our weekend plans totally fell through. I actually wrote the above bit on Thursday, got up to get ready for our weekend plans, and got completely distracted by said plans falling through and never came back to my desk until now. We were supposed to have a friend come up to stay for a bit, but she texted us about an hour before my husband started getting ready to leave for work saying she'd been exposed to covid and couldn't make it. This is after I'd taken a bunch of vegetarian-friendly stuff out of the freezer to thaw, and had made sure everything else was set up and ready. We'd paid for her train ticket up, but my husband had apparently done so without signing into his Amtrak account, so getting the ticket refunded turned into a weird hassle. And now I'm going to be eating largely vegetarian this weekend, I guess, because everything I took out is stuff my husband Does Not Like.
Today's newsletter is going to go out a bit late because I haven't even written it yet, and I spent all day doing absolutely fuck all because I frankly couldn't be arsed. idk, I just had the sort of day where I got up, did my morning workout, took a bath, watched Cats Does Countdown and the Last Leg, and did not get up from the sofa until it was time for bed. Then today I slept in super late and blah. Mostly I think I'm just tired from being so stressed out about everything else, which, ya know. Makes sense. But after the 21st things should start to calm down again a bit. At some point after that, my brother's gonna bring his kid up, who was born during lockdown and who I still haven't met. Apparently her birthday is next week, but they're having the party at our mother's so I shan't be going. Which he anticipated out the gate, so that's fine.
But until then, I need to sit down and get my website put back together, and the new newsletter set up, and a bunch of other stuff I just don't have the brain or energy to deal with right now. I kind of feel like putting everything off until after I get this next round of medical testing over with, because ugh fuck it. I may even put today's newsletter on hold and bump everything back a couple of weeks just to give myself time to breathe.
In fact, yeah. That's exactly what I'm going to do.
I can actually get into it without feeling totally like Chris Farley, which is nice. No chance in hell it's buttoning, and I can kind of trick myself into believing that it's tight in the shoulders cuz I'm hench as fuck, but let's be real. I haven't touched my weights in over a year. Every time I do it just messes up my shoulder all over again and I can't keep risking that shit and I can't afford a personal trainer to make sure I don't fuck myself up with my terrible form.
The taste in my mouth is clearing up, so the nasty goop I had to start using is definitely helping. Between that and the salt rinses, I've decided that I probably don't need to go to my GP, but I am going to keep an eye on things and be mindful of that just in case. I've got so much other stuff going on, and I can't keep piling more on top of it. And if this is a stress-related thing, yeah no wonder it happened. I exist in a constant state of stress these days. This week's stress has been getting everything ready for a house guest, and trying not to get worked up about a round of testing to figure out what horrible thing has been going on with my stomach for the last decade or so, but which I've only recently been in a position to deal with.
But even though my watch was being a bastard today, and I woke up still fairly fucked up from the brownie I ate last night, and I have no idea whether or not I actually took my pills this morning, there is one little ray of sunshine in all of it. While I was doing my workout (at home, on my bike thing because going for a five-mile walk round the lake while half-toasted seemed like a bad idea), I refreshed a tab I had open on my phone and saw that they've finally announced the air date for the next series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. That starts on the 23rd, so in two week's time I'll have a new show to watch. We'll probably be getting an announcement for Taskmaster within the next 3-4 weeks as well, I imagine, if not sooner. I've been checking that every day for weeks, so I'd almost given up hope of seeing an update, and actually got surprised when the "due to return" line on the page did change.
Our weekend plans totally fell through. I actually wrote the above bit on Thursday, got up to get ready for our weekend plans, and got completely distracted by said plans falling through and never came back to my desk until now. We were supposed to have a friend come up to stay for a bit, but she texted us about an hour before my husband started getting ready to leave for work saying she'd been exposed to covid and couldn't make it. This is after I'd taken a bunch of vegetarian-friendly stuff out of the freezer to thaw, and had made sure everything else was set up and ready. We'd paid for her train ticket up, but my husband had apparently done so without signing into his Amtrak account, so getting the ticket refunded turned into a weird hassle. And now I'm going to be eating largely vegetarian this weekend, I guess, because everything I took out is stuff my husband Does Not Like.
Today's newsletter is going to go out a bit late because I haven't even written it yet, and I spent all day doing absolutely fuck all because I frankly couldn't be arsed. idk, I just had the sort of day where I got up, did my morning workout, took a bath, watched Cats Does Countdown and the Last Leg, and did not get up from the sofa until it was time for bed. Then today I slept in super late and blah. Mostly I think I'm just tired from being so stressed out about everything else, which, ya know. Makes sense. But after the 21st things should start to calm down again a bit. At some point after that, my brother's gonna bring his kid up, who was born during lockdown and who I still haven't met. Apparently her birthday is next week, but they're having the party at our mother's so I shan't be going. Which he anticipated out the gate, so that's fine.
But until then, I need to sit down and get my website put back together, and the new newsletter set up, and a bunch of other stuff I just don't have the brain or energy to deal with right now. I kind of feel like putting everything off until after I get this next round of medical testing over with, because ugh fuck it. I may even put today's newsletter on hold and bump everything back a couple of weeks just to give myself time to breathe.
In fact, yeah. That's exactly what I'm going to do.
